They say it takes money to make money and here at Ghost Patrol International Holdings LLLC. there's nothing we enjoy more than taking your money to make you money. Recently we were contacted by an extremely satisfied franchise owner with a great deal of experience in attending our seminars. He shared with us that the level of success he had expected and the level of success he'd achieved were wildly different! Wow! But he wanted to know how he could achieve VIP-level enrichment maximization beyond the incredible fulfillment that comes just from being part of the Ghost Patrol family. 

I was meditating on that very thing in my Ashram brand spa tent on a custom blue sand beach on an island that isn't on poor people GPS when I started to feel something funny and bad in my head and tummy at the same time. Was this feeling guilt? Accountability? There was no way to know but I made a promise to myself on that day to never feel anything like that again. I ordered Simeon, the booze Panda, to fetch me more of that vodka made with the tears of the financially ruined and set to work writing a masterpiece of giving back, Your Efforts Have Been Inadequate. "But, Matthew" you might say, "Surely you are in some small way culpable for what you have wrought upon the world." You're wrong. You're wrong and I'm not even angry. We are a family and I want you to be happy so I'll share with you some chapters from my new book:

1. The Iceberg of Ignorance
2. Are you a Chihuahua or a Cheetah?
3. Deep Sprinting to Supernatural Productivity
4. The Exactly 4 Habits of Great Leaders
5. You Are Not A Tree: The Root of The Problem
6. Preparing Your Career For a Permanent Vacation
7. The 7 Signs Your Employees Are Stealing Your Success
8. The Effort Paradox

To find out more, buy my book and read your way into the mindfulness of excellence. Bless.

Throughout modern history there are literally tons of examples of technology making our lives easier. It seems as though every time we face adversity, a new technology rises up to battle that adversity and win. Horse excrement on your oxfords? BAM! The automobile. Stiff neck from looking at Big Ben all day? BOFF! The wristwatch. Suffering a sarcastic cartography staff? ZAP! Mapquest. Infant heirs falling out of the penthouse window? ZWOSH! The baby cage. Technology has never once gone astray.

But with our hectic modern lives, it can be easy to get lost in all of the things we never imagined we'd still be doing for ourselves. Did I tell TaskRabbit to pick up my dry cleaning or did I tell Amazon Echo to do it? I find my interactions with Alexa to be so invigorating, so arousing. I love the way she coyly pretends to not know what I'm talking about. She knows and she also knows that I like to be challenged because I'm a challenged kind of man. 

I was reminded of this as I sunbathed on my yacht. I was Snapchatting my doodle to my extensive list of gold-tier followers when my pet Orca, Spotty, playfully spouted into my mid-morning virgin Shirley Temple (I have my staff booze it up and then de-booze it so that it tastes like extra effort). As I tried to steady my bevvie I dropped my iPhone 6s right on the sensor module of my Swabbie Deck Hand Roomba causing it to careen directly into the path my pet Kinkajou, Scampers. Well long story short, my Kinkajou has been at half mast since Sunday.

Though technology stands as permanently infallible, man remains a creature of exotic tastes and wildly expensive fixations. Perhaps it is this duality that drives us to dream better, invent bigger and to one day solve the mystery of it all.

When seventeen legally independent entities, two banks with sovereign territories that you've probably never heard of in their names, and I originally incorporated to form Ghost Patrol International Holdings LLLC, it was with an equitable interest share of a common dream. We dreamed that the only way to achieve that dream was to dream a dream too close to the sun on dreams of wax, consequences be damned! But, you know what? There have never been any consequences and there never will be.

When we first foresaw a world free from supernatural and monetary burden for the common man we knew we would not stop until every ghost was eradicated and every royalty, reimbursement and percentage on sales from our franchises was collected, laundered and hung out to dry in the sun on some beautiful friggin' island where we named all of the birds so that we could grant them citizenship and then purchase their real estate. I personally know the Mayor of that island and can get you a tee time to play the sweetest holes you will ever see in your life. But I won't.

So how do you avoid falling into the leadership trap? Don't worry about placing blame when things don't go your way. Free yourself from the burden of culpability. When the feds show up at your door, ask yourself why there's a door. Who even answered the door? Was it a leader or someone who has never even heard the name of a leader? Do you like my title? I invented that title when I re-invented myself. That title can be parsed so many ways that if you ever try to accuse me of being any one or a combination of those words I will litigate your face off.